When Siblings Struggle: Supporting Healthy Sibling Relationships Through Family Therapy

Sibling relationships are often described as the longest-lasting relationships we have—outlasting parents, friendships, and even romantic partners. But despite their closeness, sibling dynamics can be complicated, emotional, and, at times, deeply conflictual.

From constant fighting between young children to years of unresolved resentment between adult siblings, the tension can affect not just the individuals involved but the entire family system. At Menachem Psychotherapy Group, we believe that sibling conflict is not a sign of family failure—it’s a call for deeper understanding, communication, and healing.

Why Sibling Conflict Happens

Conflict between siblings is natural. It’s often a way for children to learn negotiation, emotional regulation, and interpersonal boundaries. But sometimes, these conflicts grow intense or persistent, signaling deeper issues.

Common reasons for sibling struggles include:

• Perceived favoritism by parents or caregivers

• Competition for attention or resources

• Differences in personality or developmental stages

• Poor communication or unresolved past hurts

• Major life changes, such as divorce, illness, or a death in the family

When these issues go unaddressed, they can foster long-term resentment, anxiety, or disconnection—well into adulthood.

The Emotional Toll on the Family

Chronic sibling conflict doesn’t stay isolated. It affects the whole household. Parents may feel torn between children, experience guilt, or resort to ineffective coping strategies like avoidance or over-disciplining. Other siblings may feel caught in the middle.

Tensions can lead to:

• Increased family stress and emotional fatigue

• Strained parent-child relationships

• A divided family environment where connection feels fragile

• Avoidance of family gatherings or shared events

Family therapy offers a way to shift these patterns—not by forcing siblings to “get along,” but by addressing the roots of the conflict with empathy and skill.

How Family Therapy Helps

Family therapy creates a safe, structured space where siblings and parents can explore conflict in a non-blaming way. It helps bring clarity, understanding, and practical tools to improve relationships.

Through family therapy, your family can:

1. Improve Communication Skills
   Learning to express emotions clearly and listen without interrupting reduces misunderstandings and emotional reactivity.

2. Address Underlying Issues
   Many sibling fights are not about the surface issue (“He took my phone!”) but deeper needs like attention, fairness, or autonomy.

3. Establish Boundaries and Expectations
   Therapy helps each family member understand and respect personal boundaries, which is key for reducing recurring arguments.

4. Foster Empathy and Emotional Intelligence
   When siblings hear each other’s experiences in a guided setting, they often begin to see each other in a new, more compassionate light.

5. Support Parental Unity and Tools
   Parents receive tools to handle sibling conflict without playing favorites, increasing consistency and reducing guilt.

Sibling Dynamics Across the Lifespan

Sibling relationships evolve with time. What starts as bickering between children may turn into emotional distance or bitterness in adulthood. Each life stage comes with its own challenges:

• Childhood: Sibling rivalry, jealousy, and fighting for attention

• Adolescence: Identity development, shifting alliances, or comparison

• Adulthood: Inheritance disputes, caregiving roles, or estrangement

Therapy is useful at any of these stages. It can repair strained bonds, set new boundaries, and help adult siblings move beyond childhood roles that no longer serve them.

When Estrangement Happens

In some families, sibling relationships have been fractured for years—sometimes decades. The pain of long-term estrangement can lead to shame, sadness, and emotional confusion, especially when parents hope for reconciliation.

In therapy, families can:

• Explore what led to the rupture without blame

• Understand each person’s emotional reality

• Decide whether reconciliation is desired—or how to heal personally if it’s not

• Rebuild communication at a safe pace

Even when full reconnection isn’t possible, healing is.

What Parents Can Do to Support Sibling Harmony

While parents can’t control every sibling interaction, there are ways to foster a healthy relational foundation:

• Avoid comparisons between children

• Encourage shared activities that don’t involve competition

• Model conflict resolution with your own relationships

• Validate each child’s emotions without taking sides

• Teach repair after conflict—apologizing and forgiveness can be learned skills

Parental modeling and consistency go a long way in shaping how children learn to relate to each other.

Sibling relationships can be complicated—but they also hold the potential for lifelong support, love, and growth. When conflict arises, it doesn’t mean the family is broken. It means there’s an opportunity for healing.

At Menachem Psychotherapy Group, we offer family therapy that creates space for everyone’s voice, helps untangle deep-rooted issues, and equips families with the tools to build healthier relationships—one conversation at a time.

Because peace in the home starts with understanding in the heart.